


Marry Me, Dr Hanaya

by lucybeetle



Category: Kamen Rider Ex-Aid
Genre: Anal Sex, Crack, Gift Fic, M/M, No actual mpreg just an mpreg fantasy, Pregnancy Kink, Wedding Fluff, honeymoon sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-09-11 20:33:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9017620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucybeetle/pseuds/lucybeetle
Summary: When Taiga gets caught breaking into Dan's old office at Genm Corp, Dan comes out with a surprising reaction.





	1. Wedding Day

**Author's Note:**

  * For [guava](https://archiveofourown.org/users/guava/gifts).



> Set some time after episode 11, with spoilers up to that point. Loli Bride!Taiga is sadly not my idea, but comes from an edit someone posted on Weibo.
> 
> This fic is a Christmas present for guava, who wants more Dan/Taiga romance fics. I hope you like it! Sorry to leave out their wedding night, but there's always room for a sequel ...

“Hello, Dr Hanaya. Fancy seeing you here.”

Taiga didn’t flinch. He probably should have expected this, really, but what were the odds Dan would choose to return to his old office just at the time Taiga happened to have the safe open? He would hate to let its contents go to waste. It wasn’t like Dan would be needing them any more.

“I’m full of surprises,” said Taiga, and headed towards the doorway. Dan instantly moved to block Taiga’s path.

“I wouldn’t want to eliminate you from my perfect game this early. But if I have to, I will,” said Dan.

He traced his fingers slowly over the prominent Adam’s apple at the front of Taiga’s throat; then kissed him, tongue edging past Taiga’s lips. It had to be said that Taiga would miss this. He wondered what would happen to Dan’s office, especially to the sofas where they’d spent so many afternoons entwined together. Someone would probably take over Genm Corp and throw all the furniture out.

“You even took my pen!” Dan retrieved his once-favourite pen shaped like a tentacle from one of the pockets of Taiga’s camo pants.

Taiga said, “Waste not, want not.” The pen was cute, and like the money, Dan obviously didn’t need it.

“Indeed. So let’s not waste any time. I don’t have long to live, and while you may be skilled at games … perhaps you don’t, either.”

“Whose fault is that?!” Taiga spluttered.

“Will you make my final days as happy as they can possibly be?”

“I don’t want to make you happy. I’m going to kill you,” said Taiga. He didn’t know what Dan was playing at; but whatever it was, it was infuriating. He reached for the Bang Bang Shooting Gashat.

“Maybe. But before you do that … will you marry me?”

It took several seconds for the words to register with Taiga at all. When they finally did, the only words he could manage to make come out of his mouth were “What the actual fuck?”

“Humans can’t just turn our feelings on and off like light switches. Even now you know about my little game, I’m sure _your_ feelings for me haven’t magically disappeared.” Dan covered Taiga’s hand with his own, “What do you say? Let’s play this final level together. And of course, we’ll have our wedding night to look forward to.”

At least _that_ sounded good – wait.

When Taiga didn’t respond, still too stunned, Dan took off Taiga’s ring and slipped it onto the disgraced doctor’s wedding finger. “I knew you wouldn’t disappoint me. Meet me at the altar, Dr Hanaya.”

***

Taiga lived in an abandoned hospital, and Dan ostensibly lived in an abandoned hideout with Parado. Between them, they had enough experience of finding uninhabited old buildings that they’d managed to track down a suitable venue for the ceremony. Taiga wasn’t sure, and didn’t particularly care, why anyone would abandon a Catholic church. Lack of parishioners, probably - this wasn’t Korea.  

He hitched up his too-short skirts and wished yet again that he hadn’t worn them. He’d happened to see an oversized loli wedding dress for sale online, and thought that wearing it for his “big day” would be an amusing idea; or, anyway, it would make about as much sense as everything else that was going on. Now that he was trapped in layers of lace, with a stiff bow prickling underneath his chin, he regretted it. At least he didn’t have to wear a veil and heels with the dress as well.

Unfortunately, Taiga’s “groom”-to-be was already heading towards him. Dan’s expression broke into a wide smile at the sight of Taiga, “You dressed up for me.”

“I wear what I want,” Taiga said.

Dan drew Taiga in to embrace him closely, and swept a strand of white hair away from that sullen face – “You look beautiful, my bride. That shawl of yours doesn’t really match the dress, but I wouldn’t want you to freeze on our special day.”

Taiga swatted at Dan’s hands, “Piss off!”

“Is that any way to talk to your husband?” said Dan.

“You promised me a wedding night. Now get on with it.”

With a chuckle, Dan took hold of Taiga’s fingers, and said “Can’t have a wedding night without a wedding first. Shall we proceed?”

Well, at least Taiga would be getting married in style. The building was fairly new (probably from the 1960s or 70s), so it didn’t quite have that historic patina about it; but it had an organ and stained glass windows and candlesticks, other things that looked valuable too. Taiga was surprised that local delinquents hadn’t looted the place. Come to think of it, maybe the wedding night could wait after all. It would be a terrible shame to leave without taking a little something to remind him of their happily ever after.

“I take it we’re doing the ceremony ourselves,” he said.

“I believe so. I did have an officiant lined up, but as you can see, he is not here,” said Dan.

 _Of course_ Dan would ask a Bugster to conduct their wedding ceremony. It was the icing on the cake of absurdity. Taiga could picture the goth Ronald McDonald wannabe now: lounging about somewhere, playing on his console, oblivious to human trivialities like weddings. This wasn’t an auspicious start to the marriage but then that would be out of their reach anyway.

“Now then,” said Dan. “Music.”

“What?”

“Don’t you think we should have a little something to serenade us down the aisle? It wouldn’t be a wedding without it.”

“I don’t believe this,” Taiga muttered. After a moment he said “We haven’t got music, unless you know how to play that organ.”

“I’m afraid I don’t. But you have your phone with you, don’t you? Surely you can bring something up,” said Dan.

“You want me to play a YouTube video of _Here Comes the_ fucking _Bride_ or something?”

“Whatever you want. It’s our wedding day,” said Dan, and gave Taiga a quick kiss on the cheek.

Taiga typed in a search and browsed through some videos until he found some choral music, then turned up the volume as loud as it would go. It was still fairly quiet but at least now Dan couldn’t gripe any further about the lack of music. Thankfully Taiga had thought to wear a utility belt with the dress so he didn’t have to hold onto the phone the whole time.

“There. Happy?”

“Ecstatic.” Dan took Taiga’s hand, “Are you ready, my love?”

They headed down the aisle to the sounds of a hymn Taiga didn’t recognise, but thought was rather nice – until the music ended and auto-play switched to a video of some awful rock song. He fumbled in his belt for the phone so he could switch it off, “Fuck!”

“Don’t swear in church,” said Dan, and pinched Taiga’s arm. As they reached the end of the aisle he knelt before the altar; extending a hand to help Taiga down, then taking hold of both of Taiga’s hands. It wasn’t entirely comfortable down on the floor, although the plush carpet helped. Taiga’s skirts were riding up again and he had to let go of Dan for a moment so he could pull them back down.

“Ready?” said Dan.

“This is ridiculous,” Taiga said.

Dan ignored him. “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join these two people in holy matrimony –”

“There’s nobody here!”

“Sshhh. In the sight of God and this congregation …”

“Just get on with it, will you?” Taiga barked.

“You’re impatient, Dr Hanaya. But I don’t know the rest of the order of service, so let’s proceed to the vows. Will you, Dan Kuroto, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband –”

Taiga snorted. At least the one good thing that came out of this fiasco was that it wasn’t legally valid.

“- for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?” Dan smiled at Taiga, “Of course I will. And will you, Hanaya Taiga, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, and love, honour, and obey him –”

“I’m saying nothing about obeying,” said Taiga.

“It’s tradition, you know,” said Dan.

“I don’t care!”

“All right, all right. Will you love and honour –”

“I’m not saying honour either.”

Dan’s voice took on a slightly sharper tone. “Will you love him for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?”

Even though none of this was legal, and the whole ceremony was basically an elaborate charade between the two of them, the vows did still feel binding somehow. Taiga was sure that on some level he would be connecting himself to Dan for the rest of their lives - lives that wouldn’t be very long, either way. If one didn’t kill the other in battle, Dan’s body would shortly break down from repeated use of Proto-Gashats; Dangerous Zombie was just slowing the process a little. And all the while, Taiga’s time was slowly running out too, like sand through an hourglass. Houjou Emu knew nothing about the Gashats: what they were, how they really worked. Really, he should have been grateful that Taiga kept taking them away from him.

Taiga badly wanted to hate Dan for all of it. In fact, he did hate Dan. But it didn’t erase everything they’d shared together. As much as he hated to admit it, Dan was right. Taiga _couldn’t_ just change his feelings overnight, and maybe he would never be able to.

“I will.”

Dan reached into his pocket and produced a small golden object, which he slid onto the fourth finger of Taiga’s left hand. “With this ring I thee wed. With my body I thee worship –”

Taiga stared down at it. “Is that a curtain ring?”

Dan said, “I’m a fugitive. It’s not like I could just go into a jeweller.”

“Fair enough.”

“Forever and ever, amen,” said Dan. “And now I may kiss my bride.” He stood; taking Taiga with him, pulling him close.

As Dan pressed their lips together, Taiga thought that there might be some compensations to this marriage after all.  


	2. Wedding Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A newlywed Dan and Taiga return to Genm Corp one last time to consummate their marriage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By request of guava and tokumusume, here's the wedding night. Enjoy!
> 
> Again by request of guava, this contains pregnancy kink (though no actual mpreg), and ties in with guava's own story "Fiction Like Icing": http://archiveofourown.org/works/8743537. Not necessarily set in the same universe but can be if you want it to.
> 
> The opening sentence is paraphrased from the beautiful _Angels of the Silence_ by Simon Bestwick, whose talent as an author far surpasses anything I will ever have.

The day when Taiga Hanaya last saw the inside of Kuroto Dan’s office, possibly the last time he would see the man he loved before one or both of them died, had begun just like any other.

That was what he _wished_ were true. It seemed more poetic and dramatic. In reality he’d put on a loli dress, gone down to an abandoned church for a “wedding” ceremony with his deranged, murderous ex. Now they were heading back to said murderous ex’s former office to consummate their supposed marriage in the short space of time before one or both of them died. It wasn’t exactly the glossy bill of goods the bridal industry liked to push.

Dan slipped his arm around Taiga’s waist and said “Did you ever imagine you would be spending your wedding night here?”

“I wasn’t planning on having one,” said Taiga.

“It’s not quite a honeymoon suite, but I can’t recall hearing you complain. After all … you’re going to miss those sofas, aren’t you?”

Taiga was, actually. They had a high back and arms; he’d managed to conceal himself in there several times and watch Dan without being seen. His fantasy, of someone walking in on Dan and Taiga mid-coitus and the pair of them having to lie there silently entwined until the intruder left, had unfortunately never come to pass.

“I’m sure you can arrange to have them delivered to your hospital. I would hurry up, though. Minister Hinata has probably commandeered Genm Corp already. After all, it’s not like my father is in any position to resume his duties.” Dan chuckled to himself; then he ran his hands down Taiga’s side, “But let’s not worry about that. I intend to spend a wonderful night with my bride.”

“I am _not_ your bride," said Taiga.

“Well, we are newly married. And you chose to wear a wedding dress, so I suppose that makes you the bride.”

Dan’s lips were a fraction away from Taiga’s, challenging his new husband to close the gap. Taiga claimed Dan’s mouth; crushing the breath out of him, wanting to make him pay for the teasing, the ridiculous wedding, the pain, the “game”, Zero Day, everything else Dan was sure to inflict before death finally did them part. As Dan broke apart for air, he traced the fingertips of one hand up Taiga’s thigh, “What are you wearing underneath there, I wonder?”

“Nothing special,” said Taiga. He couldn’t have gone commando if he’d wanted to. The dress was quite cheap lace and it would have been too itchy against his most intimate parts.

Dan reached beneath the skirts and pulled them upwards, frowning in mock disappointment as he saw that Taiga had been wearing ordinary boxers, “No lingerie? I’m a little disappointed.”

“Yeah? Too bad.” Taiga had only ordered the dress for a laugh anyway and he really wasn’t in the mood for this, especially when Dan had used this wedding night as a sweetener to get him to agree to the “marriage” in the first place. He slid the jacket off of Dan’s shoulders, and then made to undo the tie around Dan’s neck, “I’m gonna tie you up if you don’t shut your mouth.”

Dan silenced both of them with another little kiss to Taiga’s lips, “I would like that very much. Why don’t you make yourself comfortable and I’ll be with you in just a moment?”

Taiga sat down on one of the sofas, not bothering to adjust his skirts, since he’d be taking them off soon anyway. At least he got a good view as Dan stripped off and put his clothes over the back of a chair. Taiga was certainly going to miss those legs. Shame about the pancake butt, though Taiga had enjoyed more than enough fun with it in the past; Dan moaning and wrapping his lovely long legs tighter around Taiga as Taiga thrust inside him. The memories were beginning to have a pleasing effect on Taiga, and he called “Get over here already.”

Dan came back, carrying a bottle of familiar liquid with him. If the Ministry _did_ decide to loot Genm Corp, they would have a few surprises coming. Taiga thought he knew of most of Dan’s hiding places but there were undoubtedly more of them built into the office somehow.

“My lovely bride,” said Dan, and caressed Taiga’s cheek before guiding him back against the sofa. He used his knee to gently separate Taiga’s thighs, making a pleased little noise as he discovered Taiga was already expecting him, “You’re eager.”

“You promised me. I’ve waited three hours and gone through the whole stupid wedding with you. Get on with it.”

Dan laughed, low and deep, “Don’t worry, my love. I have every intention of keeping that promise.” Giving another quick kiss to Taiga’s lips, he raised his hands beneath Taiga’s dress; sliding the disappointingly plain underpants downwards and throwing them aside. With his knee he gently teased at Taiga’s soft flesh, “All _you_ have to do is lay back and enjoy.”

“Seriously?” Taiga didn’t mind missionary, not really. It meant that he didn’t have to do any of the work, and after today, he rather thought Dan owed him. All the same, he was none too keen to indulge Dan’s “bride” fantasy – married or not.

“It’s traditional for a wedding night, isn’t it? I want to give you the proper experience.” Dan silenced Taiga with another kiss and then began tracing a path down Taiga’s neck, over the exposed throat and down towards his collar bone as Dan continued to softly stimulate with his knee. On several occasions Dan had made reference to how Taiga’s prominent larynx indicated high testosterone and manly virility. Well, that explained why Taiga was horny often, but he’d prefer to _do_ it rather than _talk_ about it.

Taiga was enjoying the mix of sensations but raised a hand to indicate for Dan to stop; then sat up so he could begin to get his dress off. It was itching and his head aching and he’d had a long day. He wanted nothing more than to toss the constricting material inside and just lay back and let Dan fuck him into oblivion. Dan could play at bride and groom if he wanted, Taiga didn’t care – “Help me with this, would you?”

Dan obligingly got up and rolled Taiga over so he could unfasten the zip, helping Taiga ease the awful lacy nightmare over his head. He stood and went to place the dress carefully on a chair with his own clothes, “We wouldn’t want to ruin your beautiful dress.”

In response to Taiga’s expression, Dan reached for the bottle; nudging Taiga’s legs apart a little. He moistened the fingers of one hand and then carefully rubbed them against Taiga’s entrance, testing for resistance, “You seem tense.”

“Of course I’m fucking tense! I had to get dressed up in a fucking loli wedding dress and then go down to a church to marry YOU!”

Taiga sat up, and Dan eased him back against the sofa, reassuringly stroking Taiga’s forearm to calm him – “And now you’re here, enjoying your wedding night with me. I’m going to make you the happiest bride in the world.” He closed his lips over Taiga’s own, and slid a couple of fingers inside him, probing with firmness though not trying to cause pain. Taiga wasn’t that tight anyway and he could quite easily have dealt with this stage by himself, if not for Dan’s fixation with the idea of wanting to take charge of his “bride.” It wasn’t like Taiga needed any more reasons to regret buying and wearing the dress than he already had. He made a mental note that when he got home he would phone and verbally abuse the seller; which wouldn’t take back the wedding ceremony or the “honeymoon” sex, but would help him feel better.

“Are you ready?” Dan was gazing down at Taiga now, caressing Taiga’s face, a soft smile playing around Dan’s lips as if Taiga were something valuable he had seen and wanted to have. That smile grew as Taiga nodded, “Thank you for marrying me, Dr Hanaya. I intend for us to be very happy together.” He stroked his fingers over his own dick to let the remnants of lube coat it; then pushed forward into Taiga with one smooth motion.

Taiga lifted his hips, testing for the best angle. Dan leaned forward to press kisses to Taiga’s neck; inadvertently driving deeper into him with the shift in their positions. Taiga gasped and Dan thrust into him once more, then again, trying to reach the same spot.

“I can’t believe I’m so lucky. I have married my lovely bride and now we are enjoying our wedding night,” said Dan.

Taiga had had quite enough of this sort of talk, so he simply ignored it.

“We will be together till death do us part. And even when that happens - I intend to leave you a little something to remember me by.”

Taiga froze. Had Dan decided to betray him further by infecting him with genital warts or, worse, HIV? “What the fuck?”

“Don’t worry, darling.” Dan petted Taiga’s arm, then brought that hand across to play with Taiga’s nipple, “You’re going to be a wonderful mother. My child will always remind you of me.”

Not this, _again_. That was another of Dan’s little fancies: talking at length about how he’d get Taiga pregnant, have dozens of babies that would look like Dan, and Taiga would spend his days lovingly caring for them, etc. etc. It was undoubtedly part of Dan’s warped desire to have Taiga completely physically, emotionally, and financially dependent on him, and probably to expand his Genm Corp empire. Well, Dan had lost that empire now and more importantly he’d lied to Taiga about everything. Taiga might have been stupid enough to marry Dan but that didn’t oblige him to indulge any of Dan’s weird fetishes.

“If you don’t shut the fuck up, I’m gonna go soft,” said Taiga.

“No, you won’t. You’re looking forward to it.” Dan gave Taiga’s cock a little squeeze, chuckling with satisfaction as it grew harder beneath his touch, “You agreed to it when you married me. After all, marriage is for procreation.”

“So _I_ get to knock _you_ up, then.”

“That would be quite, quite wonderful – but you’re the bride. I’m going to come inside you and put a baby in you and you’re going to love it. I think you’ll enjoy being pregnant. It increases one’s libido, you know.”

Taiga tightened himself around Dan’s thrusts, thinking that the sooner they finished up the sooner he could be done with all this talk about babies.

“And you’re going to lactate,” said Dan. He brought the fingers of his free hand to Taiga’s nipple again, as if Taiga didn’t know what lactation was – “So you can feed our baby. But you’ll save a glass of breast milk for your husband, won’t you?”

Dan’s eyes were closed; no doubt lost in his dreamlike, half-baked fantasies of a pregnant Taiga. He could drop _that_ bullshit right about now. Taiga pressed their lips together just to shut Dan up, rocking his hips faster to push Dan into keeping up with him. Dan’s response was to reach across to stroke Taiga’s cock - still stubbornly hard, despite Taiga’s earlier threats. He was easily able to keep pace, shifting angle slightly with each thrust until Taiga cried out and Dan could continue to graze over his prostate each time.

Dan filled Taiga with a rush of hot liquid, a half-choked breath or two spilling from his lips at the same time. Taiga was pretty sure Dan had knowingly infected him with something, now; his own orgasm overtaking him before he could voice his objections. Dan had already recovered and was returning to the sofa with a blanket by the time Taiga began to regain his senses.

“Our marriage is consummated. I hope it was everything you dreamed of,” said Dan, taking a seat beside Taiga so he could wrap an arm around Taiga’s waist and pull him in close to Dan’s shoulder.

“Fuck off.”

“The wedding night isn’t over yet, though. We’ll need to have at least one more round tonight to increase your chances of conception. Feel free to use the bathroom. I don’t think they’ll have cut off the water supply just yet.” Dan dropped a kiss to Taiga’s forehead and brushed aside a piece of sweat-matted hair there.

“Just as long as the baby’s got your legs. And _doesn’t_ have your butt.” Taiga flopped back against the sofa. He would have to clean himself up, but couldn’t be bothered to wash up properly, especially since he’d need his energy if Dan planned on more. “Bring me a sponge or something, can’t you?”

Dan returned with a cloth so he could begin to wipe the worst of the mess off himself and Taiga. He hesitated above the entrance to Taiga's legs, free hand trailing a path through the pool of fluid there, "All mine. All inside you. That's going to be our baby." Dan had always liked to see his semen gathered inside Taiga, too. Well, Taiga would fill _him_ up next time, preferably making sure that he couldn't clean it up properly - if there was a next time. Dan helped Taiga settle back against the sofa and then climbed up beside him, leaning half on top of Taiga so that they could both fit on. Taiga grunted in response but didn’t dislodge him; instead just pulling the blanket over them.

“Here’s to our marriage,” said Dan, kissing Taiga’s lips, “Our baby, and the future of our world.”

“Here’s to you finally shutting up and giving me some peace.”

Dan answered him with another kiss and entwined their hands in the darkness; caressing the golden curtain ring still lodged on Taiga’s fourth finger.


End file.
